Read About Me

ahhh yes - well it's 10:00 on this DEATHLY COLD cheery sunny saturday morning. that's why I'm not goin for a run, because if I did go for a run, my ass would fall off and I'm collapse onto the sidewalk. so I'm gonna stay home all day and finish homework, type stuff for mom, etc. etc. - and tommorrow I have rehearsal and I think I'm gonna see a movie, but I'm not sure. I don't really feel like making social plans this weekend, which is basically a first for me. anyways- I've noticed that I've been calling people a lot less lately than before, almost like I don't give a fuck what my friends are up to - but I do. I mean I do wanna know what everyone's up to but I don't really feel any strong urge to call anyone up and just say "what's up" - it's pretty gay, Iunno what to do bout it, people are getting offended an stuff. ah well - right now, things are not going that great academically, mainly because although all my subjects are doing pretty well (save math), I have a shitload of work to do in each subject - and math, well I'm failing, I think my average is somewhere around 52% or 53%, and a pass is 55%, but I don't just want a pass, I want at least over 60 - for university purposes for the program I'd like to go in. so for the exam, I am already studying for it like a retard, I've asked JF to help me, and I've made it aware to myself that I really deserve to a should work hard to obtain this goal, I think my mind has been elsewhere lately - the mind of a 16-year old guy is not the calmest place. so yea, I'm gonna give that a shot, and my other vague goal of the present is to live for myself- and not really give a shit what others think unless it's positive. cause trust me, I have enuff people in my life who want me to hate myself and stuff. but that's a retarded thing to do, what's the good in hating yourself? there is none. and I gain a lot more by just ignoring those people that put that put a lot of negative shit in my life and by just being cool with the fact that not everyone's gonna like me in the world, but if you're your own friend (corny yet true) then you can't really go wrong. beleiving in yourself and your capabilities goes a long way, kids - it can do you a lot of good - a lot better then listening to those who try to bring you down, anyways. if we all followed that, I doubt there'd be as many eating disorders or even suicides, because at least if you believe in what you're doing and you'd know that the adult world is right around the corner for us, so if things are going wrong now there's always, always a way to get out of it. arrite well that's it for my lectures of today, I g2g type up some stuff for mom - but here's my friday five for the record. l8er

Il faut parfois tout détruire,
Pour apprendre à reconstruire.

What one thing are you most looking forward to . . .

1. ...today?
Getting a lot of homework and stuff done! I've already found my glasses that I haven't seen in 3 months!

2. ...over the next week?
Uh - hm, prolly leader corps and rehearsal and stuff

3. ...this year?
trying out for C.I. hahahaha ahhh I'm a loser lol

4. ...over the next five years?
Getting a university education

5. ...for the rest of your life?
getting married, having a kid or two, having a good job, travelling - let's just say I have a lot to live for.

arritey - l8er!