Read About Me

oh - today's gonna be fun. as I look out the window, the sun shines vaguely and the temperature is so low I can see the hard evidence through the glass. the snow and the ice, and the almost-dead trees swaying violently against the arctic wind. it's only 8:30 in the morning, mind you - and I'm stuck at home all day. my mom woke me up at 6:30, and now I can't go back to sleep because Ben's up, and I have to babysit him all day. the phone told us about school, not the radio. the school made its own decision - didn't listen to District 8 for once. schools in KV and Sussex are out, and now I guess I'm out for today too. so much for exam revision - I'll have to deal. oh and Tom just called, he's still at the bus stop, maybe his bus is late? he asked for Dad, but Dad's working - so Tom told me to fuck off. can't say I didn't try. the frigid temperatures match my humour, I don't feel like staying home and revising math on my own, it's not my best subject. though I do need the exam desperately, so I guess it's worth it. I was having breakfast and then mom picked up the phone and "you'll never guess what" and now here I sit. last night L.C. was cancelled, and so I stayed home and did math and research. anyone who hangs out on a weekday night before exams is retarded, especially in grade 11 - this is the year. you wanna do something with your life? then work. word hard. and make it. cause if you get too into something else, like your love life, your social life, your job - whatever it is, it's not worth it. if something, anything except for God takes higher ranking then your education, then you're out of your mind. Tom walks in the door - he's mad. freezing. "holy shit!" I don't know what to do - I'm not his mother. I'm not his father. I really don't even care about him. oh well. what does the radio say? not heard yet. I can't let myself be distracted, can't let myself be torn by girls or love or friends or anything, cause if I lose this, I lose the respect of my family. I lose myself. but I'm 16... which doesn't make sense. if I graduate next year, I'll be setting out on life at 17, which is sick. or maybe I'm just in a really bad mood - either way, it's almost too soon. almost too much pressure. but just little enough to keep me sane. enough other students going through what I go through. Sting plays on the radio. through what I feel. the radio will never say...

The cold cold day,
The wind blows.