Wednesday, May 19, 2004
yyyyeah im not feeling my greatest rite now, but i almost never get the chance to post and so if i leave suddenly its because my rents caught me on here and started yelling at me. great. its beautiful outside, but i dont really feel like going outside at all..i have two tests tomorrow anyway. the past week has been ok I guess, but nothing too great. last weekend bombed, it was awful, so i'm planning some stuff out right now. trying to. not to sound all socially desperate and "oh i dont have any friends poor me", just that I'm going through a rough time with things lately. it happens. yea.
wow, i've started using paragraphs, how new and exciting. see, i dont like going into details in my blog because i never know who's gonna come snooping in trying to find out about me so they can kick the shit outta me or gang rape me or other stuff - being paranoid, yes, can you be too careful?, no. I dont want to talk about my problems, especially on this thing or even to people because I'm gonna sound lame and people will think less of me, say what you want but chances are it's true. i mean yeah, i could complain about "oh blah blah blah, been single for this long, yeah" but thats kinda stupid of me and that doesnt really matter or "oh blah blah blah, this person let me down" but once again, those details are forgotten eventually and life goes on. but it's the venting that I'd like to be able to do without having to reflect on what people will be thinking about me.
(new paragraph, i'm stepping up) and I know i'm a guy and i dont really have to worry about that kind of thing, people will talk about you whether you're a girl a guy or a moose! it doesnt matter in the end what people think, true, but that's what? 10, 20 years down the road? i'm living in the NOW. i know that yes, eventually i will meet the greatest girl in the world and magical butterflies will fly out of everyone's ass at that exact magical moment, but hey!! i'm 16!! who cares about magical butterflies? i sure don't. but i'm also 16 in another way, in a way where I'm supposed to be mature and responsable and all that stuff too. I can't just take a speakerphone and tell my cares to the world because.. well you just can't.
and here i am living in an enviroment where i have to restrict myself all the time with Tom around the house, i can't do what i want or i get called a faggot or get something thrown at me.. i mean i do joke about it alot but it's a very hard thing to live with. my parents tell me i'm not supposed to be talking about him, but I can't help myself.. its hard to live with and i can't not talk about it. i'm not gonna lie! he's an ass to live with! i'm sorry, i dont wanna be """"gossipping"""" or "talking behind his back," but i need to vent my frustrations, living with a person like him isnt easy, and for all those who say "boys will be boys " and "it's just that age", try it for yourself. be my fucking guest.
man.. not only am i using paragraphs, I'm actually typing a LOT of stuff. no one's gonna read this far... hell! how can i know that anyone reads this? i should be doing work, i cant stay up late or i'll be dead in the morning. oh.. yea, see? moms "discovered" me so i g2g now.. this is great... like i said, be my guest to live here. later
-joel
wow, i've started using paragraphs, how new and exciting. see, i dont like going into details in my blog because i never know who's gonna come snooping in trying to find out about me so they can kick the shit outta me or gang rape me or other stuff - being paranoid, yes, can you be too careful?, no. I dont want to talk about my problems, especially on this thing or even to people because I'm gonna sound lame and people will think less of me, say what you want but chances are it's true. i mean yeah, i could complain about "oh blah blah blah, been single for this long, yeah" but thats kinda stupid of me and that doesnt really matter or "oh blah blah blah, this person let me down" but once again, those details are forgotten eventually and life goes on. but it's the venting that I'd like to be able to do without having to reflect on what people will be thinking about me.
(new paragraph, i'm stepping up) and I know i'm a guy and i dont really have to worry about that kind of thing, people will talk about you whether you're a girl a guy or a moose! it doesnt matter in the end what people think, true, but that's what? 10, 20 years down the road? i'm living in the NOW. i know that yes, eventually i will meet the greatest girl in the world and magical butterflies will fly out of everyone's ass at that exact magical moment, but hey!! i'm 16!! who cares about magical butterflies? i sure don't. but i'm also 16 in another way, in a way where I'm supposed to be mature and responsable and all that stuff too. I can't just take a speakerphone and tell my cares to the world because.. well you just can't.
and here i am living in an enviroment where i have to restrict myself all the time with Tom around the house, i can't do what i want or i get called a faggot or get something thrown at me.. i mean i do joke about it alot but it's a very hard thing to live with. my parents tell me i'm not supposed to be talking about him, but I can't help myself.. its hard to live with and i can't not talk about it. i'm not gonna lie! he's an ass to live with! i'm sorry, i dont wanna be """"gossipping"""" or "talking behind his back," but i need to vent my frustrations, living with a person like him isnt easy, and for all those who say "boys will be boys " and "it's just that age", try it for yourself. be my fucking guest.
man.. not only am i using paragraphs, I'm actually typing a LOT of stuff. no one's gonna read this far... hell! how can i know that anyone reads this? i should be doing work, i cant stay up late or i'll be dead in the morning. oh.. yea, see? moms "discovered" me so i g2g now.. this is great... like i said, be my guest to live here. later
-joel
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