Read About Me

   hooooooly geez! people can't get enough of this thing! i was saving this for tomorrow, buuuut since everyone really likes it , I guess I'll post another edition! for the record,

    i don't make these people's confessions up! they're all completely real!

 lol, thought i'd get that point across. it's from http://grouphug.us - just to let you all know. ok, enjoy, these are some pretty disturbing confessions!

Patient #1, 642098586

"last night i finally did it! i stole my sisters dildo and i inserted it in my bumhole. it was the greatest feeling ever. i managed 2 insert it all the way up. i think this experience has made me change from a straight person in to a gay 1. i sure hope my sister washed it before she used this morning. because i forgot to wash it"
 
Dr. Advice: Ahhhh right. OK then. Where to start. Well! For starters, shoving a dildo up your bum doesn't change your sexual orientation. Don't get me wrong, but most straight guys don't usually participate in this type of... Activity. And also, might I point out the IMMENSE health risks involved with anus-to-vagina contact, which can introduce ultra-huge-sex viruses like... Chlamidia to the max, or Super-Sick Syphillis, or possibly even Hungry Hungry Herpes! So don't come crawling to me (quite literally, your bum will probably be too sore for you to walk,) when your sister's complaining of having a sore-ass pussy (again, literally) don't look to me or anyone else for help! Asshole! (Yeah, you heard me. Literally.)  Next!

Patient #2, 310952410

"Last night, I walked into my parents bedroom while they were doing it. I accidently bumped the bed while I was pleasuring myself. My dad asked who was there, I said I was the cat. They went back to doing thing, and I went back to mine. I can't believe he believed me."

Dr. Advice: Right. Yes, right you are. OK. For starters, what were you doing in your parent's room pleasuring yourself while they were having sex? I mean, I really hope that's not what turns you on. Just so you know, that's how you were BORN. But, if you really do want to think of Dad saying "How do you do" in a special way to your mom, you go right ahead. Or not. Anyway, secondly, what the hell? Not to be mean, but is your father retarded? There are so many things wrong with this logic! A) Cats cannot talk. B) Cats don't masturbate to THEIR parents having sex. C) CATS AREN'T SICK AND DEMENTED LIKE YOURSELF! And so yeah! You're retarded, whatever. Don't share your feelings. Next!

Patient #3, 113990099

"Sometimes when I am at work and no one else there, generally after hours, I try to perform sexual acts on my computer. Usually I try to shove my rather small penis into the "A" drive, but to no avail. Most of the time I just get frustrated and go in the bathroom and masturbate while thinking of my father. I usually ejaculate onto the seat of the toilet and just leave it there to get back at the world for my strange sexual fetishes. Currently I am looking for a woman that partakes in similar acts, but I am having little luck. Does this make me wierd?"

Dr. Advice: Hmmm... Why would that be weird? Let's see... OK! So, reason #1. You try to fuck a computer! Need I say more? No, I definately don't. Reason #2! You masturbate while thinking about your father. Ah-ha. Not going there. Reason #3! You cum on the toilet seat at your workplace so that you can "get back at the world for your strange fetishes." Again, just plain weird. What's your logic there? Gay people don't "get back at the world" for their sexual orientation, and people who are into roleplay and domination and leather and such things don't "get back at the world" for their fetishes, and so why must you "get back at the world" for such things? And even if you really TRULY wanted to "get back at the world," what the fuck kind of lame idea is it to cum on the toilet seat? Oh no! What might he do next? Lick the toilet bowl for revenge? I mean, really. You're a sad case. And no, there are no women that exist that participate in such activities.  I've already typed a massive paragraph, and I haven't even touched the tip of the iceberg! God! Thanks to you, there's not even going to be a 4th patient. Does that make you mad? GOOD! ...Just don't cum on my toilet seat. Please.

arritey guys!!! please comment , thanks !

-joel