Read About Me

hey there! what? what's that? you're in school right now, District 8? why's that? OH THAT'S RIGHT!!! hahahahaha district 1 PAYS OFF, BABY!! FRENCH FOREVER!!!!! HAHHAHAAAAAAAA... ok well i'm done. moving on: this week has been pretty insane in itself. yea monday was chem - Minister's exam - I know i passed I just hope it didn't magically bring down my average or something, cause thats just not cool. haha yea anyway and then after school on monday i just chilled cause i was pretty stressed an stuff - good times! then yesterday (for all the mentally challenged: Tuesday) was actually pretty cool, every1 was busy so I was like "OK" and I worked on some stuff and i went out and bought some stuff i needed and i talked to a buncha people - not too bad for a day that was supposed to suck. and then today and tommorrow are definately gonna suck cause everyone's in school but my school, and some people in my class are busy, or dead, or even not on the continent so iunno about hangin out w/ those seedy characters. (haha) yea anyway my dad asked me this morning if I wanted to go work out and it was like 9:30 and i hadnt even waken up yet - i'm rite tired and i have a cold, man it sucks rite bad. i wish i could go for a run, but all I can do is sit home and work out and have fun. poor me. lol so yea that's the 411 dilly-o bitch-ass for shizzle update on my life, how bout urs?

Is be more like me,
And be less like you

P.S. (Y aquí está mi Friday Five-o, aunque es el miércoles. Eso es bien.)

At this moment, what is your favorite...

1. ...song?
Prolly 'Numb' by linkin park (yea i'm just a big punk poser) and "I miss you" by blink 182 and that "my immortal' song is great too

2. ...food?
ohhhhhh anythin's good if I'm hungry - prolly broccoli, or pasta, or anythin italian..... ahhhh so good

3. ...tv show?
hm - CSI's great - my rents love to watch american idol so sometimes i watch that - and making the band 2 is my current addiction ("YOU STABBED ME, BITCH!" "WELL I'M PREGNANT!" "WELL MY SISTER DIED!")

4. ...scent?
i must say, i involuntarily convulse whenever i smell a girl wearin "ralph lauren" - holy fuck. and my personal favorite is my own swiss army stuff - deadly

5. ...quote?
Well computer, I'm glad you asked! here are a few of my favourites:

"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world." -Helen Keller

"Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and immoral. It is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding; it seeks to annihilate rather then to convert. Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love." -Martin Luther King Jr.

"War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left." -Confucius

"If life gives you lemons, shut the fuck up." -Me

"Dead cat on the loose!" -Ben

well well - if it isn't you. lol i have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, but hey - s'all good. it's a friday afternoon, and usually on a friday afternoon I'm in chemistry class around this time. "what's different about today," you ask? it's exam week, thats what's different - and I just finished another exam this morning. in fact, I had 3 exams this week, and I have another exam on monday for chemistry! isnt that crazy? ohhh I know, that crazy district 1 - I dunno what theyre thinking... anyway wednesday was french, which wasn't that bad (I'm going into detail about my exams, so I'm cool) because it was a written comprehension test, one was an analytical article and the other was some weird theatre-play-thing... and one of the questions for that was "Make a nice picture." on an exam, no joke. like I said, only in district 1... anyway, then yesterday afternoon - Dev. Hum. - holy shit. it was questions like "What is a human" and "Let's say you're 65. You reflect on your life. What would you like to say about it?" I mean come on - let's be vague and not be specific about anything... I didn't get to finish everything in either exam. not that bad.. or so I hope. anyway, specific stuff. that brings me to this morning's exam - math. not as bad as I thought, but when the questions are hella long (translation: long questions) and usually about 'factorising algebra,' its not cool. I think I did allright (I hope I hope I hope cause otherwise I prolly failed) haha... well at least im not stoopit. (crickets) lol yea movin on - so then I have a Minister's Exam (big words) for chemistry (I should stop these brackets) on monday (yes, monday) afternoon. good times - and this weekend? I have plans! and a life! ...fer once... haha good for me, i deserve a gold star or something. hey didja know that the superbowls not that far away?? now I know that i'm not really that much of a football buff but I actually like watching the commercials - I dont really think I get the concept of a touchdown... I used to think it was when you had to touch the ground... y'know, touch the ground, and the ground is down, so it's a touch-down... no? haha arritey. well i'll make sure to tell you who won between ... ah... football team A and football team B. I will also be sure to have lots of NACHOS AND BEER!!! YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! ok i'm done. bye

I used to be cukoo for Cocoa Puffs,
But now I'm paranoid for Pop Tarts.

It's exam week. I should be studying. too bad I'm not! haha, I sure am beating the system! (either that or I have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about. if I were you I'd go for option # 2.) it's hump day, as my mom calls it. wednesday is right in the middle of the week, and I have a french exam this afternoon. what will I do this morning? write, read, study, talk, lots of stuff. it's comfort. this afternoon is a no-study exam, alas my lack of motivation to study like a dog this morning. I've been studying for math since I have that exam on friday, and tommorrow's exam is a massive «reflection exam» which'll take approx. 3 days to write. (for dev. hum. and I just said «which'll.») then on monday it's chimie, so I can study for that over the weekend. then after that I think I have 3 days off (...why do I hate days off??) until the new semester starts on the 30th. whoo. now I must admit this """dilemma""" is retarded, but i really dunno what to do. the C.I. auditions are in hali on feb. 23, but I dunno if I wanna go cause (even tho I know I'm prolly not gonna even make it) if I do, then I'll have to miss out in EVERYTHING in april (unless the toronto auditions are in may or somethin) cause in april... whoa... haha well lemme fill you in.

Random date @ the beginning of april: S-d-C play at school.
Weekend of April 17-18: Freddy Town, provincial comittee
weekend of april 23-24 (?): Caraquet
weekend of april 29- may 1st (?): jacob twotwo. fuck.

so yea.......... thats kinda why. and I'm thinkin of waitin until the next one, cause we all know there'll be about 10 installments of the show. but then again time is of the essence, never put off til tommorrow what you can do today, there's no time like right now, yadda yadda. iunno if I even wanna do it, it's kind of a retarded idea. psh, it's good for bragging rights tho! anyway - yea and what else is new with me - i think that's about it. good luck w/ ur exams, everybody. I'm out! gimme a call.

1 2 3 Baby you're so fine,
Really really wanna make you mine.
-Jet

these days are so cold yet the world is not old. I'm 16 and I feel almost like I'm living as I should, as I've always wanted to live. minus the drinking and the sex, I've done a lot, and I'm a normal guy. good day. this weekend was a dud - enjoyable, but nothing happened. I talked to people, and that was allrite, but physical presence is that much better. yet I'm a cool dude, so I'll get myself somethin to do for the next weekend. I know it's all rooted to the exams anyway, study, pressure, study, think, study, worry, study, university, study, material. so many things. I've recently become interested in psychology, recently a lot of people told me I'd make a good one. especially since another friend of mine told me that nutrition is a domain that's getting filled up too quickly. what no one knows is that I wish I could be famous, but that's stupid. I wouldn't mind leading a normal life, I have things planned out for myself. tell me - do you think that it's worth it to hide your sadness is exchange for happiness to make friends? that's my new philosophy in life. bad? maybe. shallow? maybe. does it work? yea - and it's done me a lotta good so far. not to say that I'm Mr. Sadistic - its just that sometimes I cover it up so that I don't have to bring others down, and I think that's a good thing. what can you do. I should really stop writing like this, it's depressing me - but it's a diff way of doin things. I think it's cool. anyway the Tomster's home - "It's my turn, I haven't been on all day" - so I'm out! have a good one. here's my late friday five tho - just to piss him off.

On the brink,
On the horizon,
Here I am Here I am

-(Friday Five)

1. What does it say in the signature line of your emails?
I don't have one... I usually just end it with " -Joel ".

2. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? What was it? If you haven't graduated yet, what would you like your quote to be?
Since our sam-de-cham yearbooks have lots and lots of space, I'd probably go say how grateful I am to live in canada and to have a good education in the first place. I'd talk about how honoured I was to have gone to that school, and that I'd remember it for the rest of my life. Iunno if I'd throw any inside jokes in there - that's yet to be known.

3. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? If you already have them, what do they say?
Haha awesome, well there's 7 possible letters or numbers on a N.B. license plate I think - so I'd put something along the lines of "GO2HELL" or "STEPBAK" or... "NICECAR."

4. Have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? What did the inscription say?
What the hell? no sorry I don't get gifts with magical messages on them, sorry to dissapoint you

5. What would you like your epitaph to be?
ohhhh well I guess this is kinda long and I'm making it up on the spot and it'd be expensive for my poor family buuuuut... "Live not for others to serve you for your own benefit; Live to serve others, and the benefit will already be there."

i'm out! l8er

it's friday afternoon, and the sky is gray and the air is cold. I hope I can just chill out or hang out and study this weekend, it's what I need. this morning was morbid, long, boring, but useful in the end. french exam. writing a paragraph about humanitary aid... not cool. my title? "L'aide humanitaire: L'autre bord de la clôture." corny, but it does the trick. this weekend, I'm putting the emphasis on math... otherwise I'm dead. JF pushed numbers into his calculator and came up with "you have to get over 55.1% on your exam to pass." I think I can handle that, but I don't want to have a just-passing average in math. I'm looking towards over 60% - but it's grade 11 - the year for universities to look at. oh Lord. I feel stupid, but I know I'm smart, it's a weird feeling. I just think I have a higher social and litterature intelligence more then... well, logical intelligence. I'm not that logic. (ask me about my dreams. my latest dream was about brittany murphy as a zoologist telling a gorilla about running over it's pet cat. the gorilla was pretty mad.) another thing - old subject - it just pisses me off that people get offended by things I write. stupid, I know, it's a blog. but still - keep in perspective, what I say is in my life, don't pee yourself. yea. I can't believe I'm even related to tom, he's such a fuckin asshole, I dont believe it. Ben's a lot more like me, I hope he grows up to be a decent guy, I don't want him turning out to be as bad as mom's perception of tom. as a failure. mom found out about 69% in french today - she's yelling. I gotta go. I guess I'm just not working damn hard enough. my future is in jeopardy. I won't make it in life, so please pardon me.

oh - today's gonna be fun. as I look out the window, the sun shines vaguely and the temperature is so low I can see the hard evidence through the glass. the snow and the ice, and the almost-dead trees swaying violently against the arctic wind. it's only 8:30 in the morning, mind you - and I'm stuck at home all day. my mom woke me up at 6:30, and now I can't go back to sleep because Ben's up, and I have to babysit him all day. the phone told us about school, not the radio. the school made its own decision - didn't listen to District 8 for once. schools in KV and Sussex are out, and now I guess I'm out for today too. so much for exam revision - I'll have to deal. oh and Tom just called, he's still at the bus stop, maybe his bus is late? he asked for Dad, but Dad's working - so Tom told me to fuck off. can't say I didn't try. the frigid temperatures match my humour, I don't feel like staying home and revising math on my own, it's not my best subject. though I do need the exam desperately, so I guess it's worth it. I was having breakfast and then mom picked up the phone and "you'll never guess what" and now here I sit. last night L.C. was cancelled, and so I stayed home and did math and research. anyone who hangs out on a weekday night before exams is retarded, especially in grade 11 - this is the year. you wanna do something with your life? then work. word hard. and make it. cause if you get too into something else, like your love life, your social life, your job - whatever it is, it's not worth it. if something, anything except for God takes higher ranking then your education, then you're out of your mind. Tom walks in the door - he's mad. freezing. "holy shit!" I don't know what to do - I'm not his mother. I'm not his father. I really don't even care about him. oh well. what does the radio say? not heard yet. I can't let myself be distracted, can't let myself be torn by girls or love or friends or anything, cause if I lose this, I lose the respect of my family. I lose myself. but I'm 16... which doesn't make sense. if I graduate next year, I'll be setting out on life at 17, which is sick. or maybe I'm just in a really bad mood - either way, it's almost too soon. almost too much pressure. but just little enough to keep me sane. enough other students going through what I go through. Sting plays on the radio. through what I feel. the radio will never say...

The cold cold day,
The wind blows.

ahhh yes - well it's 10:00 on this DEATHLY COLD cheery sunny saturday morning. that's why I'm not goin for a run, because if I did go for a run, my ass would fall off and I'm collapse onto the sidewalk. so I'm gonna stay home all day and finish homework, type stuff for mom, etc. etc. - and tommorrow I have rehearsal and I think I'm gonna see a movie, but I'm not sure. I don't really feel like making social plans this weekend, which is basically a first for me. anyways- I've noticed that I've been calling people a lot less lately than before, almost like I don't give a fuck what my friends are up to - but I do. I mean I do wanna know what everyone's up to but I don't really feel any strong urge to call anyone up and just say "what's up" - it's pretty gay, Iunno what to do bout it, people are getting offended an stuff. ah well - right now, things are not going that great academically, mainly because although all my subjects are doing pretty well (save math), I have a shitload of work to do in each subject - and math, well I'm failing, I think my average is somewhere around 52% or 53%, and a pass is 55%, but I don't just want a pass, I want at least over 60 - for university purposes for the program I'd like to go in. so for the exam, I am already studying for it like a retard, I've asked JF to help me, and I've made it aware to myself that I really deserve to a should work hard to obtain this goal, I think my mind has been elsewhere lately - the mind of a 16-year old guy is not the calmest place. so yea, I'm gonna give that a shot, and my other vague goal of the present is to live for myself- and not really give a shit what others think unless it's positive. cause trust me, I have enuff people in my life who want me to hate myself and stuff. but that's a retarded thing to do, what's the good in hating yourself? there is none. and I gain a lot more by just ignoring those people that put that put a lot of negative shit in my life and by just being cool with the fact that not everyone's gonna like me in the world, but if you're your own friend (corny yet true) then you can't really go wrong. beleiving in yourself and your capabilities goes a long way, kids - it can do you a lot of good - a lot better then listening to those who try to bring you down, anyways. if we all followed that, I doubt there'd be as many eating disorders or even suicides, because at least if you believe in what you're doing and you'd know that the adult world is right around the corner for us, so if things are going wrong now there's always, always a way to get out of it. arrite well that's it for my lectures of today, I g2g type up some stuff for mom - but here's my friday five for the record. l8er

Il faut parfois tout détruire,
Pour apprendre à reconstruire.

What one thing are you most looking forward to . . .

1. ...today?
Getting a lot of homework and stuff done! I've already found my glasses that I haven't seen in 3 months!

2. ...over the next week?
Uh - hm, prolly leader corps and rehearsal and stuff

3. ...this year?
trying out for C.I. hahahaha ahhh I'm a loser lol

4. ...over the next five years?
Getting a university education

5. ...for the rest of your life?
getting married, having a kid or two, having a good job, travelling - let's just say I have a lot to live for.

arritey - l8er!

hoooooly. if I get caught, I'll get shot!!! oh Lord - I'm supposed to be working on this project on social belonging........ haha boring as hell. I really can't do it, it's an immense project that requires 500 words here, author's quotes here, yadda yadda. can't do it! damnit... ah well. I gotta do it tho, dev. hum is my highest course - 96% average, tho that prolly won't be case in a little while. crap. well the low-down on my life in that past week of this new year of 2004... ah well - last week was relaxation, new year's day was awesome, and so was new year's eve! i spent the night all night @ the Y, stayed up until 5, did such awesome things - example? hung around in the woman's changing room sauna. hoooly - so cool! anyway haha I'm not gonna go into detail - but it was definately somethin else. then I fell asleep @ 5... woke up at 7 to the sound of screaming kids... went home, slept for 4 hours, yea. I'm not gonna go into obsessive detail but that's cool! anyway and so yea my weekend was great too, except for all the shitty homework I forced myself to do - which is prolly why I'm not doin anything rite now. augh I told myself one of my resolutions was to work harder on homework so I can actually understand my subjects and classes better, and I'm making the effort... but sometimes ya just can't. God i love this Blog, it's like seein a friend you haven't seen in a long time. sweeet. and yea school is stress-fully craptacular now.. man the exams!! 2 weeks away!! fuck!!! and the good times keep rolling. oh - yea I dunno if it's worth saying but if this post just suddenly ends, it's because my mom walked in, caught me, and then bit my head off. ah well - anyway I think i'm gonna go force myself to do a little more work before I absolutely give up and move on to bigger and better things. yea - that's what I think I'll do. later!

Scorpios are sex symbols,
Yo mama.